Parrin|Eden Candidate(FIN!)

[shinska]

Weyr: Eden



Name: Perrin



Gender: Male


Sexuality: Straight



Rank: Candidate


Age: 16


Appearance: Short shaggy brown hair with pale green eyes. He is gangly and somewhat haggard in looks. He has a friendly smile and a gentle complexion. Usually wears a white top and tan pants. His feet are hard and are used to walking across hard surfaces. Parrin was always a hard woking lad, hence his ragged appearance. Big calloused hands and tanned skin. Usually his hair is very tangled because he was out playing. Parrin has a scar running down his left leg. It runs from his knee to his ankle. The scar was aquired when he was a child(more in history).

Parrin has long legs that are good for running and thick muscles made for picking things up. Parrin does not look attractive now because of his scar, callouses, and ragged look, but when he grows older most of these things will go away and he will look like a clean young man instead of a dirty, ragged, little boy.

In Parrin's brown hair there is a little bit of blonde mixed in. You can't see it unless you look REALLY close and even then its hard to see the brown. Parrin's pale green eyes seem to be looking into your soul and reading your personality. They're not. His eyes just look a little wise beyond their years.

Parrin also has brown dots across his skin(freckles). He has no idea as to what they are, but they don't hurt him and he doesn't care. Parrin is tall for his age and this is a good sign for him. This boy's big feet often get in the way of his walking and he is somewhat clumsy. He has big, strong hands made for working... and possibly riding.

Personality: Parrin is caring and gentle. He is often found doing what he is told to do and he rarely disobey's orders or commands. Parrin is friendly and loves dragons. He wishes he was a Bronze or Brown rider. Nothing else would ever settle for him. Parrin has always been of the daring type. He thinks that if he can Impress a Bronze or Brown and a slightly younger Queen flies for the first time then maybe he would have a chance at being Weyrleader.

Parrin is outgoing and is fun to be around. He knows that if he Impresses a Brown then he might not become Weyrleader later, but he knows that Browns and Bronzes are the only dragons capable of keeping up with a Queen dragon. Parrin knows that if he has a Brown then it is its choice of flying with the Queen and trying for Weyrleader.

Parrin is a quick-thinker and he thinks before he acts. This boy knows that should he act before he thinks then he won't make a very good leader one day. Parrin knows he was adopted because his parents told him the story since he was four years old. Parrin always got along with his brother Jorin, but he has no idea why. He thinks its because that he admires his brother and his brother is more good looking then he is, older too.

Parrin also loves to play jokes on people. He will do anything for attention and he will do it in anyway possible. He knows that if he is accepted as a Dragonrider then he may not stay in Eden, but go to another place that has need of him.

This boy will fight to protect those he loves and respects. For example if he is accepted as a dragonrider and his Wingleader was captured or hurt then Parrin would go after who did it and make them pay. He wouldn't go alone because he isn't stupid.

In battle he is fierce and quick. Almost nothing would stop him from battling his enemies. Parrin loves to see his enemies flee before him and he will stop at nothing to keep those he has sworn to protect, safe.



History: Parrin was abandoned by his real parents when he was two. The couple that took him are long since dead, but his adopted siblings, Jorin and Kyra, always took after their little "brother." The three of them always did everything together. Play, eat, and sleep. When Parrin turned 16 he his siblings were Searched. Jorin and Kyra were quickly unImpressed. Now its Parrin's turn to try his luck. His sister Kyra went missing shortly after her failure at Impressing. Jorin and Parrin are deeply upset by their missing sister.

Parrin never knew his birth parents, but he always knew the story of how he was found. When Parrin was seven he got into some trouble with a tree. Parrin was playing with his siblings a little far from their home and a tree fell on the boy pinning his left leg to the ground. Parrin howled in agony and terror. He had been afraid that he would lose his leg and lose his chance of trying to Impress.

Parrin's father, Morvan, had been out looking for his children and suddenly his two birth children attacked him and screeched out what happened. Morven then got some help from other men of the Hold and togther they released Parrin's leg from the tree's crushing grasp. By this time Parrin was nearly unconcious because of the lack of blood flow.

Parrin was in an unconcious state for two days. When he awoke he was given his punishment by his father and then given his medicine. Parrin had a broken leg, but it had healed well. As soon as the young boy was healed he joined his siblings in the punishment since all three of them had caused their father worry.

For the next fortnight the three children helped with the cooking and cleaning. Finally it was time for them to be released from their punishment. They promised never to do it again, but Parrin, being the adventurous one that he is, vowed to do things behind his family's back.

Several days after they were relased from their punishement was when Parrin saw his first actual dragon. It was a green and not very big, but it still made Parrin look on in awe. That was when he decided he wanted to be a dragon rider. Later he saw other colors like Bronze, Brown, and Blues. The Bronze and Brown dragons were the only ones that interested Parrin. He knows that if he does Impress then it may not be to the one he wants.

Parrin has to go with what the dragon decides. Now he waits impatiantly for his turn at Impressing. Will he Impress or will he be stuck in Eden Hold forever? Parrin really wants to be a Brown or Bronze rider. For now he has to wait.



Father: Morvan(Foster father, deceased)
Mother: Ivva(Foster mother, deceased)
Siblings: Jorin(foster brother) and Kyra(foster sister, missing)
Pet: None yet
Color: Bronze or Brown(Wants to be Weyrleader one day)

[Onyxaeon]

Blonde is a very, very rare hair color on Pern and, to have that coloring, the profile has to be extremely good. Brown dragons also have little chance for Impressing the Weyrleaders of the Weyr, and Eden is prone to more mutants than cannon colorings. I'd like to see more under everything before I can accept this character.

[shinska]

Better?

[Onyxaeon]

By any chance have you taken a look at the dragon mutantions we have to offfer here at WoP? Under the section 'Dragon Info' all the mutation as well as cannon colorings are listed, and some mutants are only native to certain Weyrs so be careful of which you choose to try for. An Onyx mutant (the Kings of Talune Weyr), for example, can only be hatched on Talune sands and must remain there afterward and, so far, there's only one that's ever hatched. I would suggest taking a deeper look into the Weyrs here before fleshing out your profile a bit more: it's a lot of simple sentences and details could be drug in to make them longer and more lively. That aside, he has a good history and personality to work with, and I'm sure Desert will be thrilled to get a new candidate just as soon as you fix his hair coloring and take a new look at things. I'm sorry, but we've only one blonde-two, actually, now that I think on it-to WoP's name and that profile, I believe, topped two thousand words. We even have some monster profiles on here such as Mitten's ten thousand word profile for her Silver pair in Black Sands and mine for my Brimstone pair in Solainoti. Dive iunto their heads and tell us what makes them tick. ^^

[Desert]

no non-king male would ever achieve anything more than Wingsecond, or maybe Wingleader if they're really good. and Eden is an exclusively noncanon Weyr, so if a brown or bronze Hatched there they would be all but forced to transfer out once they were done with weyrling training. no canonrider would ever have any authority over a wing in Eden, even if by some chance they were permitted to stay.

and there is such thing as sandy brown hair that looks blond-ish. that would be more easily acceptable. also, if he had light brown hair with blond in it, that would be easier to pull off.

flesh it out a bit, make the sentences flow better. if you want him to be a kingrider and possibly Weyrleader, his bio needs some detail to it. it looks very good so far, but a bit more can never hurt. (unless you're Mittens, but i doubt your Muse is as psychopathic as Calliope)

if you're at a loss as to how to bring the bio up to par, you could take a look at some of the already accepted bios for authority-figures; N'yx and Vsasi of Solainoti, D'ron of Talune, Llaina of Crystal Cavern, D'myn of Black Sands, N'nika and Kisa of New Cove, K'dran of Eden(since he's the only kingrider so far).

wow, this turned into quite a rant. >_O oops. anyway, you got the jist of it.

[shinska]

Better? My word count is now around 1,212 or somewhere there about.

[Lyrikitty]

It looks pretty good so far, though I don't know where he started at so... ><

Hmm... again, for an Eden candidate you really shouldn't be asking for him to Impress a canon color, as Desert stated they never stay in the Weyr once they graduate to riders. You may want to consider a Topaz or Roan for personality similarities though, both are mutants and so would fare better in Eden, Roans being native there anyhow.

For an example of what Desert meant, if you happen to be curious, by my phycho muse, or for some ideas on how to lengthen a profile out some, you might want to look at Katya, not read all of it mind you, I'd never wish that on anyone. T-T But for their history alone I passed 6000 words. -pets Katya and Basionath-

Anyhow, I won't accept it, simply because Desert and Onyx have seen how far it's come and all that, but I don't think you'll have to do too much more for it to pass Desert's approval. -huggles Onyx, even if she canbe a stickler for details-

[whisper=onyx]I loves you, lol[/whisper]

[Desert]

for a candidate profile, i'm fairly happy. that doesn't mean he's future-Weyrleader potential, but just as a candidate i'd be willing to accept him.

he could get a brown-ranked dragon, but not a brown. if you work on his profile a little, he could get a king, but not a bronze. the only bronze in living memory to Impress in Eden is my K'tal's Zhek, and he was forced to transfer to CCW as soon as he graduated.
he can want a brown or a bronze all he wants, but he probably won't get one. like Mittens said, try a roan. roans are basically browns with gray hides, after all.

but the color he wants is kinda sideline right now. like i said before, just as a run-of-the-mill might-Impress-might-not candidate, i'd accept him. if you want him to be a potential kingrider, flesh it out more. if you want him to be a potential Weyrleader, flesh it out even more than that.