Stay With Me|

[Desert]

anudder story. this one was inspired when i made the mistake of watching Anical Cops Detroit this morning. it made me sad, and i had to write this.

[Desert]

I don't understand.

One day, I was happy and content. They would pet me and play with me and feed me, and it would be good. Then he started yelling at her. He hit her, though I don't know why. I don't understand humans most of the time.

Then, she left. She left me all alone. he didn't look after me the way she did. A stranger came once or twice, but then the stranger stopped coming. He never fed me or petted me or played with me.

I'm so hungry. So thirsty. Can't someone see? Won't someone help me? My little paws can't do what your human hands can. I am at your mercy, my masters. My friends.

Foir all these years I've loved you. I've sat on the edge of your bed to keep your feet warm. I have purred to you to and groomed you, brought you presents of dead birds to eat. I have always been there for you. I don't judge by what you look like, who you hang out with, how much money you have. If you are kind to me, if you show me love and affection, I will give it back tenfold. Because that is my way.

But then she left, and he ignored me. The stranger who brought food didn't come back. And now I'm hungry and thirsty. I hurt, too. Usually she takes me to the vet when I start hurting like this. I don't like the vet, it stinks and they poke me with things. But I always feel better when she taken me to the vet and they poke me, or she shoves nasty pills down my throat. But this time she never came back, and I kept on hurting.

Where are you? I love you, and you went away. I'm hungry, but you never came back to feed me. I hurt, but you never came to take me to the vet. What's wrong here? I don't understand.

[Desert]

She came back! She is back! She is holding me in her arms, and I am happy.

I am so weak with hunger, so weak with thirst, so weak with pain, that I can only meow feebly when I see your beloved face. I love you so much. I missed you so much. But you came back to me! I always knew you would. You always come back to me, my friend. I knew I could put my faith in you.

She holds me as she gets in the car. The car usually means the vet. I don't like it, but I can't muster the strength to do anything but meow. I know everything will be all right, though, because she is here now. Everything is right.

She carries me into the vet's office. It smells and is noisy. I wish she hadn't brought me here. I hate it enough when I am healthy, but now I am weak and barely clinging to life. I think she can tell -- tell that I am almost gone. She feels the bones sticking out from my wasted muscles, sees the pale pink of my gums, hears the eerie rattle in my pitiful mews. I see tears beading in her eyes, turning them red and puffy, as she speaks to the receptionist.

She sits down to wait, cradling me in her arms. It is so good to smell her familiar smell, to hear her familiar voice. It makes the vet's office worth it, because my beloved is back with me. She will feed me and pet me and play with me, just like old times. I love you.

They take us to the back, and she puts me on the exam table. I don't like it -- the table is hard and cold. Why can't she hold me? The vet comes in and runs his stinky hands all over me. I don't have the strength to try to twist out of his cool, sanitized grip. She and the vet exchange words, but I don't understand their speech. I heard the word "euthanize", but my poor kitty mind doesn't know what that means. t least I'm with her again. That makes it all better, even if I'm too weak to do anything but meow my happiness.

[Desert]

Now everything is confusing. New sights and sounds and smells swirl around me in a confused blur, but I can't make sense of it all. I can feel myself slipping. I'm so hungry, so thirsty. It hurts so much. Why can't they fix it? Humans can do anything, can't they?

I haven't seen her since she left the exam room, crying. She shouldn't cry. We were just reunited! But then she went away again. Why did she go away again?

People in matching clothes and smelling strangely now carry me. They put me in a cardboard box and put the box in the back of their car. I don't like this. I can feel the hunger, the thirst, the pain weakening my grip on life. I meow feebly from inside my box, begging them to take me back to her. I want to see her again before I go. I'm afraid to take this last long journey without seeing her. Where is she?

Now I'm in this new place. It looks and smells like the vet's office, but more chaotic. New. Scary. Nothing familiar is here. It is a strange and frightening place. It overloads my senses. I am dying in this hostile place, with my beloved long behind me. Will I see her before I slip away? I wish she was here. I don't want to die alone, here in this strange place with no friends. I am scared! My little heart is failing, but I cling to life. I cann't go before I have seen her face again! Please don't let me die yet! I only saw her for so brief a time!

The strangers poke me and feel me and talk over my head in their big voices. Someone with a warm touch and a kind voice cradles me, whispering to me. "Oh baby, oh baby. You poor thing," she murmurs. This one is not my master. I wish she would hold me again.

Instinctively, I know that my time is nearing its end. All I can think of as the strangers rush around me, fighting to revive my failing body, is that she is not here. My old friend, my beloved master. You took such good care of me before, then you left, and it was bad. Then you came back and I was happy, but then so soon you left again. Why would you do that to me? Why? All I ever did was love you with all my heart.

Why couldn't you be there with me? I have always done only the same for you. I was there when you wept, when you laughed. When you celebrated and mourned. So why must I die alone, here in this frightening and alien place?

[Desert]

Many faces surround me. The beeping of the machines, loud and annoying, seems to fade. They beep falteringly once in time with my weak heart, then as it goes still the beep turns into a whining buzz. My ears stop up and my lungs stop pulling in and pushing out air. I can't feel my body anymore. I am floating. Before my eyes slide close the final time, I cast my gaze about desperately to find her face. But I cannot.

I am all alone. Here, with all this business and commotion in this crowded place, I am all alone. No one I know or love is here for me. She was here one moment and gone the next, and left me to make this last journey without even saying good-bye.

But for all that, I still love you. With all my heart. You have been there for me, and i will always be there for you. Even in death. I will forgive you this abandoment like I forgave the first one. I hope you will not forget me, my beloved friend, because i will never forget you or the kindness you showed me. I will overlook this last lapse, this final touch of callousness, because I cannot be mad at you, my master.

As I drift off to oblivion, my thoughts are only of you. I wish you could have been with me on this last trip. It would have made it much easier. You left me to die alone in a strange place, but I still love you.

[Desert]

one of the ten commandments for pet owners goes something like this:
"On the last and greatest difficult journey, don't make me go alone. Don't say you can't bear to watch. Be with me while I die, because I would do the same for you."

as i typed this, i was crying so much. it brought back memories of when we had to put down my fourteen-year-old Springer, Obey. we stayed with him. how could we not? i couldn't leave when the dog who'd been my best friend since i was three was dying.
so, if you have a pet and you need to put it down, don't be a coward and leave the room. stay with your pet. they'll be more peaceful if they can see you as they pass on, to hold the image of their beloved master's face as they slip away. give them the chance this little nameless torti cat never had.

[elainsie]

It brought tears to my eyes...very nice Desert ^^